Feeling Triggered By Others? Why Therapy Might Be the Answer
Alex has a poor relationship with his father, Mark, but every year Alex and his family go to the coast for an extended family vacation with the grandparents and siblings. As summer approaches, Alex finds himself snapping at his spouse and children, making mistakes at work, and feeling overly anxious and out of sorts. When Alex and his family do make it to the beach, he alienates himself and avoids any activities with his father. Suffice it to say the time spent at the beach doesn't seem like much of a vacation at all to Alex, compounding his feelings of anger, sadness, and isolation.
Sarah is co-parenting with her ex-husband, John. While most weeks pass without major incidents, every communication with John is a minefield of emotions for her. Every time her phone buzzes with a message from him, Sarah's heart races and her stomach churns. She often avoids responding unless absolutely necessary, hoping to shield herself from the inevitable storm of emotions. But this avoidance only adds fuel to the fire, creating a silent tension that threatens her fragile co-parenting dynamic.
These scenarios feature two people trying desperately to grapple with strong feelings and emotions. And while it may work for them in the short-term, over the years they may find themselves frayed from the emotional triggers they're enduring.
As much as we may fight our emotions as human beings, they're designed to help us; to alert us when something is dangerous or pleasurable. Sometimes though, we experience emotions that seem out of control, or jarring, and leave us reeling in their wake. These situations and individuals that evoke strong emotional reactions are called triggers. And if left unmanaged can cause obstacles in our lives.
Feeling triggered by others?
Understanding Emotional Triggers
An emotional trigger is any event, interaction, or person that evokes a strong emotional response, often tied to past experiences or unresolved issues. These triggers can manifest in numerous ways such as anger, anxiety, sadness, or fear. Triggers differ from threats in that they are usually non-threatening, but still illicit in us a fight or flight response.
What Causes an Emotional Trigger?
Let's discuss triggers exclusively caused by individuals. You can feel triggered by a person if they:
Remind you of a past trauma. Someone's mere presence can remind you of past traumas, or if they bring up similar scenarios to past traumatic experiences.
Have unresolved conflicts with you. Mentioning a past disagreement that was never fully resolved can reignite old feelings of anger or hurt. Even subtle hints or indirect mentions of past conflicts can be triggering.
Criticize or judge you. If your actions, decisions, or character is criticized, especially if you have a history of being judged harshly, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy or defensiveness. Unsolicited advice can have a similar effect.
Ignore your personal space or boundaries. It can be incredibly triggering if you’re physically or emotionally encroached on or constantly have your boundaries ignored or disrespected.
How Can Therapy Help My Triggers?
These triggers, rooted in past experiences, unresolved conflicts, and deeply held beliefs, can profoundly impact our relationships and mental well-being. That's why therapy is crucial when it comes to managing our triggers. Understanding how people in our lives can emotionally trigger us is essential for fostering healthier interactions and developing effective coping strategies. Let's break it down.
Therapy can:
Identify the Root Causes: Therapy helps you identify the root causes of your emotional triggers. By delving into past experiences and uncovering unresolved issues, a therapist can help you understand why certain interactions provoke strong reactions. This understanding is the first step in managing these triggers effectively.
Develop Coping Strategies: Once the root causes are identified, therapy can equip you with coping strategies to manage your emotional responses. Techniques such as mindfulness, and stress management can help you respond to triggers in healthier ways, reducing the negative impact on your daily lives.
Improve Communication Skills: Effective communication is key in managing relationships that trigger emotional responses. Therapy can help you develop better communication skills, enabling you to express your feelings and needs more clearly and assertively. This is particularly important in situations where you're forced to communicate with someone who is triggering to you, where clear and respectful communication could reduce conflict and improve cooperation.
Build Emotional Resilience: Therapy helps you build emotional resilience, allowing you to navigate challenging interactions without becoming overwhelmed. This resilience is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and avoiding the pitfalls of avoidance or isolation.
Therapy for Managing Emotional Triggers in Charlotte, NC
Emotional triggers are a powerful and often frustrating aspect of our everyday interactions. They can turn a simple conversation or seemingly harmless action into a storm of intense emotions and somatic experiences.
If you find yourself being triggered by those around you, I encourage you to consider therapy. As a therapist in North Carolina who specializes in anxiety and life changes, I truly believe that gifting yourself the chance to understand your emotions and feelings a little more can lead to wonderful results. Reach out today for a free consultation.
I would like to be clear that this blog post is not intended to substitute for professional counseling. If you are in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional counselor.
