Good Communication & Your Mental Health

Ridley is at her mother’s house again. She craves a close relationship with her mother but seems unable to get the right words out. She wants to share her accomplishments with her mom, her interests, and her values. But every time she steps into the room with her, she seems to clam up. At the same time, that needling voice in her head speaks up. 

I just want to feel a connection with my mom again, Ridley thinks, What’s so wrong with me that I can’t? I’m such a crappy daughter.

David is struggling for words too. He’s giving his partner the cold shoulder again but feels his heart breaking. He desperately wants to mend the tear in their relationship, but doesn’t know how to articulate this hurt. 

Why doesn’t he say anything? He frets, Why do I always have to be the one to say something first? And why does this always happen to me?

Let’s face it—communication can be hard. It’s something we all rely on to build relationships, express ourselves, and navigate through life. Yet, for some reason, it often feels like one of the trickiest skills to master. What makes it even harder is how deeply tied communication is to our mental health. Whether it’s the way we talk to others or the way we speak to ourselves, the words we use and the stories we tell play a huge role in shaping how we feel, how we perceive the world, and how we connect with the people in our lives.

Communication and Our Relationship with Others

Think about the last time you disagreed with a loved one, a coworker, or a friend. Maybe it started with something small, like a misinterpreted text or a forgotten favor. But before you knew it, emotions escalated, assumptions were made, and things got messy. Poor communication has a way of turning molehills into mountains, especially when we don’t feel heard or understood.

Communication is so vital to our well-being. It’s the backbone of strong relationships and how we build trust, resolve conflicts, and create deeper emotional ties. When we can express ourselves clearly and listen actively, we’re better able to get our needs met and recognize the needs of others. This is also why it’s so important that we surround ourselves with people who uplift us and advocate for clear, kind communication in our relationships.

When our needs are met, we feel understood, seen, and respected, our connections feel more genuine. And when we feel we have strong, authentic connections, we feel safer and more secure in our lives, which, as you may have already assumed, leads to a greater sense of well-being.

Communication and Our Relationship with Ourselves

When wires are crossed or communication is otherwise poor, we can be left feeling isolated, resentful, and misunderstood. We may even question our self-worth. When communication continues to be a struggle, our relationships can become one-sided or even falter.

This breakdown in communication doesn’t just impact our relationships; it also influences how we see ourselves. For instance, think of a particularly toxic relationship where you were constantly criticized or dismissed. Over time, those negative messages might have seeped into your self-perception, making you believe they were true.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, I’m so stupid or I’ll never get this right? That’s called negative self-talk. That inner critic (who never seems to take a day off) is just as damaging to your ego and can have a profound impact on your mental health.

Constant negative self-talk can erode self-esteem, making us feel unworthy or incapable. It can feed anxiety, as we obsess over our perceived flaws or failures. It can even contribute to depression, as we spiral into a narrative of hopelessness or inadequacy. In essence, the way we communicate with ourselves sets the tone for how we experience the world.

Learn to Communicate with Compassion

But here’s the good news: just as poor self-talk can harm us, compassionate and affirming self-talk can heal us. When we learn to challenge our inner critic and replace harsh words with kind ones, we create a mental environment that’s supportive and empowering. This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect—it means approaching ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we’d offer a dear friend.

How Therapy Can Help Improve Communication with Ourselves and Others

Therapy can offer you a safer environment to explore your inner dialogue and your communication with others. It’s also an opportunity to learn how to express yourself and achieve a better connection with yourself and others. 

A therapist can help you: 

• Identify negative self-talk and reframe it into constructive, empowering statements.

• Develop self-awareness by exploring the roots of your inner critic.

• Cultivate self-compassion.

• Build emotional awareness by recognizing and naming your emotions.

• Understand your triggers and what starts the snowball of misunderstanding and self-criticism. 

• Break unhealthy patterns by identifying unhelpful communication habits (like defensiveness or people-pleasing.) 

• Learn to navigate conflict with grace and mutual respect.

• Practice and enhance active listening skills by role-playing.

Therapy for Improving Relationships & Communication in Charlotte, NC and SC

Good communication isn’t just about getting your point across. It’s about fostering understanding, connection, and kindness—both with others and with yourself. When we communicate with clarity and compassion, we create a foundation for healthier relationships and better mental health.

The next time you catch yourself in a tough conversation, whether it’s with a loved one or with yourself, take a deep breath and remember: the words you choose matter. Speak with intention. Listen with empathy. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself—you deserve it.

I would like to be clear that this blog post is not intended to substitute for professional counseling. If you are in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional counselor.

Cheryl D. Perry MA, LCMHC, LPC, NCC