October often feels like the quiet drumroll before the holiday season begins. At the end of the month, we kick off with Halloween—a favorite for both kids and adults. Then comes November and Thanksgiving, which quickly rolls into December with Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and more. Lastly, but not least, January marks the beginning of the New Year.

That’s four months of celebrations, expectations, and transitions all stacked together. It’s no wonder that, for many, October is when we start to prepare mentally. We make lists. We check our calendars. We start thinking about travel plans, gifts, budgets, and all the moving parts that make up “the holidays.”

But let’s pause here and check in.

Mother’s Day is just around the corner. For some of your friends and family, it’s a warm celebration filled with flowers, brunch, and heartfelt cards. But that warm fuzziness seems a pipe dream for you. It’s a complicated day that puts a knot in your stomach and an ache in your heart.

When we think of the New Year, we often think of resolutions, goals, and otherwise things we're looking forward to achieving. We also tend to take into stock what we wanted to do, or what we didn't manage to achieve last year. Maybe things like the money we didn't manage to save, or the weight we didn't lose. When we start thinking like this, we tend to take on a negative mindset and begin to criticize ourselves.

This year, let’s shift our focus away from what we didn’t accomplish and begin the New Year with a more positive outlook.

The holiday season often comes with a set of traditions and rituals that we've grown up with. You might even say these traditions are what make the holidays special.

One thing’s important though. It's essential to recognize that we can create our own holiday traditions.